Yesterday I got a fair bit done in the Cage. It was nice and cool in the Library, which was a welcome change. I think that with just a little bit more effort I could really truck through this next chapter. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to be having a little more effort. Part of it is my writing rhythm. I tend to get really into the writing around about 7:00 p.m., just when the Library closes on the weekends. But worse, is the desire that also kicks in right around then to just be comfortable, at home, sleepy and lazy eating a nice dinner with Spousal Unit. (Although, I should be grateful to the library for closing early on Saturday because it meant that I didn’t have to sacrifice a lovely night last night. S.U. and I went out to the public park by the lake for a free concert of Irish-Folk music. We took a picnic of cheese and bread and fresh Farm Box snow peas and apples and beer and olives and chips, and watched the babies and dogs and little kids and old folks and young folks just hanging out together and being a community. It was wonderful.)
But, on regular days, it is so hard to get myself to keep working into the evening when I’d so much rather be doing great things like going to the free concerts by the lake. Isn’t there any way to do this Dissertation thing without having to sacrifice anything at all, whatsoever? Wah! I want to be able to read my new Harry Potter book (still in its cardboard shipping packaging, so three cheers for some major self-control on my part), hang out with my dear one, swim at the lake, AND still finish the dissertation. Somehow, though, since I have just always opted to do those things, it is a decade later and I find I’m still not done. I think that should tell me something.
No sacrifices were made today, though. It was just to hot to do anything at all that involved any kind of thinking. So, I cleaned out my closet. This was a major accomplishment for me, since there were lots of things in there that I had been holding onto for quite some time now. (Including the Powerbook 520 which remains safely in its box on the top shelf). I got rid of 4 pairs of shoes, innumerable shirts and skirts and pants that no longer fit me, put aside some things that I really wished would fit me just in case I do get smaller again some day but was fairly realistic about which those things were, and threw away a whole garbage bag of strange random crap that I had been harboring in there for quite some time. I even opened up and peeked in at the sealed box that had been sitting on a low shelf where I looked at it every day since we moved in 2+ years ago that had clearly written on the side: Stewgad’s Dissertation Very Important in huge capital letters and red ink. Clearly, I haven’t missed whatever is in it (papers, notes, brilliant insights, I’m sure. For the time being, I just moved it to my desk.) At the end of the whole purging process, I presented a pop-quiz to Spousal Unit about which item I had preserved that was the most ridiculous thing to have kept: the broken strap for a shoulder bag that I bought in college and haven’t actually seen since then (12+ yrs); 8, yes 8, different tubes of lipstick in unsuitable shades that came for free when I bought other products at the Clinque counter (not to mention the 10 or so little damn bottles of zit-me-up yellow lotion); broken glasses from 3 prescriptions ago; 15 little bottles of free hotel shampoo that I somehow can never resist picking up even though my hair is very picky and doesn’t like any kind of shampoo except the Neutrogena clarifying kind; or the 3 different kinds of outdated and unused (oops!) birth control pills with an expiration date of 10/94. We both pretty much agreed that the birth control took the cake. I guess I kept them long after I stopped using them because they’re just so darned pretty in those fancy little plastic containers with all their nice colors and little uniform shapes.
But, now I have a closet that I can actually use, filled (mostly) with clothes that I really do wear. It feels great. Next stop: the unopened packing boxes full of strange random stuff that consume all of the space in the study closet. But, not tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I’ll head back to the Library since it is supposed to be hotter than hot here. (Hear that, Mr. Bush? It’s called G-L-O-B-A-L W-A-R-M-I-N-G!) I just now found in my desk a really important book that I needed yesterday to really finish what I was doing, so I think I can make some serious headway tomorrow. Now, if only I can keep my sweaty little fingers off of my Harry Potter book, grit my teeth and make some damn sacrifices.