Oh. My. God.
I had totally forgotten how much I hate grading. I am currently sitting on 50 some short (1-page) preliminary assignments and every fiber in my being shouts out that it DOES NOT WANT TO GRADE THEM.
So, in the interest of procrastinating this fun task, I’m reviving my “Five Things I’d Rather Do than Grade” Meme, updated for the New and Improved Parental Stewgad.
5. Listen to the Gadlet shit knowing full well what has to happen after that.
(Especially since the little critter saves up all her poop for a week and then gets it out in one fell swoop. Usually at the most inconvenient moment possible, of course.)
4. Attempt to extract a squirming, grumpy 13-lb human out of shit-infused clothing without enabling that human to ingest some of the shit.
(After one similarly explosive and uncontained poop the husband of a friend of mine suggested as a solution to this dilemma that they just “cut off” her daughter’s onesie. She was not amused.)
3. Remove all of said shit from the back, arms, legs, knees, toes and various other tiny nooks and crannies while small squirming human attempts to roll over and/or play with aforementioned shit.
(Who knew babies had so many crevices in which to hide small morsels of shit??)
2. Clean the encrusted baby shit out of the gussets of the elasticized leg openings of a cloth diaper wrap with a toothbrush.
(Yep. Toothbrush. It’s the thing that works best to get that shit out of there. And yes, cloth. Given that I lie awake at night and worry about where all of the trash goes, this seemed to be the only solution.)
And last, but not least, the # 1 thing I’d rather do that grade….
Listen to Spousal Unit wax poetic about Barack Obama WHILE attempting to accomplish #2-5.
And now, back to my regularly scheduled workload.
Thank you all for stopping by.
Feel free to share the 5 things you hate more than grading.