Getting Better All The Time

Thanks all for your great comments.  I took a lot of the advice — I chilled out a little, started taking it in little chunks, and working in little bits of time.  I got my butt out of the house, which is usually the number one most important thing for me.  I just don’t work well at home.  I like to work in crowded, noisy places where I’m alone with a lot of people near me so that I’m not lonely and where I can get food, coffee and/or books at a moment’s notice.  This week I’ve been at the big box bookstore with internal evil corporate coffee shop.  Yeah, I know, it’s evil, but they have free parking.   But, it is pretty generic and soul-less.  Funny story from Tuesday — A woman sat down next to me in said evil cafe.  Her phone rang, and she said “Hey.  Where are you?  I’m in the cafe.” Pause.  Looks around.  “I don’t see you.”  Pause. “Oh!  You’re at Borders???”  She was in the Wrong Evil Corporate bookstore.  She turned a little red, and then popped up and headed out the door.   It would have been really funny if it wasn’t such a sad commentary on the homogenization and gentrification of America.

Anyway, working there the past couple of days, I realized a couple of good things:
First, I realized that I don’t have to make this article into something it isn’t.  I think I’ve been feeling like I have to gather EVERY POSSIBLE BIT OF INFORMATION out there on this subject or else the article will be shite.  But, that just isn’t possible this time around.  It will be something very nice I will do for the book.  For now, I just need to work with what I have.  
That led to my second realization — that I didn’t actually know what it is I have.  So, I did a bunch of organizing of my sources and have been taking notes on them for the first part of the article. It has been a HUGE help.  I’m feeling good about what I’m finding and even enjoying it a little.  Imagine that.  
Plus, I decided that the quality of my life just isn’t worth the freak-out.  That I could choose to be insane and worried and stressed-out about this whole thing, or I could opt for calm and a degree of sanity and health.  Maybe it is the wrong choice, but I think it is a better one for my long-term life, really.  I don’t know how long I could sustain the level of stress I was generating.  My guess is not that long.  Besides, both Spousal Unit and the Gadlet like it better when I’m less tense.  
In the interest of the quality of life question, we’re going “camping” with some friends this weekend.  “Camping” in the sense that we’ll be away from home, and sleeping in sleeping bags, but not camping in the sense that we’re going to a nice place with a kitchen and bathroom and a lake.  I’m going to take the computer and get up early each day and do a couple of hours of work both mornings, but I’m also just going to let myself have some down time.  I think it might help. 
Thanks again for the support.   I’ll check back in on Monday.  Happy weekend!  
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3 responses to “Getting Better All The Time

  1. Yay coffeeshops! I think I’ll go to my own local evil corporate coffeeshop ’cause it’s a block away and they have free wifi and yep, must say that I work much better there too.

    Hugs to the hot and fabulous mama.

  2. I missed commenting on the previous post, but I just wanted to say — I’m so happy you shook off that nasty panic attack. I get them all the time; I’m working on a paper right now that makes me feel exactly as you described. I’m trying to figure out if academia has turned me into a neurotic perfectionist, or whether I was simply attracted to academia because I am a neurotic perfectionist. Sigh.

    I’m glad you’ve done so much work, and here’s hoping the productivity continues!

  3. You’re weekend plans sound brilliant — a little bit of work, a little bit of relaxation, a change of pace — all guaranteed to result both in progress and in greater calm and happiness.

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