Is it a moral failing if you become horribly sick on the day you had designated for returning to work on TWSNBN after a week of mid-semester clean-up & recovery? Is it a personal failure if you only feel good enough to lie on the couch in your sleeping bag watching Buffy and surfing the internets instead of hammering away at that darned dissertation?
I think it very well might be. Especially if you’re paying for daycare and not spending time with your kid so that you can “work.” But, I swear, I feel terrible. Every time I get up to pee, I think I’m going to die. Well, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I’m not a happy person today.
It’s also making me feel a touch guilty about my behavior over the weekend. After weeks and weeks of living in Total Chaos. And I do mean TOTAL — the house was so bad that yesterday morning when Spousal Unit went to get dressed, he didn’t even pause to look in the bedroom for clothes, he went downstairs to the living room because all of our laundry has been living there for so long. He then got annoyed that he couldn’t find his socks in the now-spotless living room.
Spousal Unit: (Hollering upstairs) “Where are all of my socks? They were on the coffee table and bookcase yesterday!”
Me: “Did you check the dresser?”
Spousal Unit: “Huh? What?”
Me: “The DRES-SER!!!”
Spousal Unit: “Oh, that? Why would my socks be in there?”
Anyway, this weekend, I finally decided that if I wanted the house to be even slightly more clean than the hurricane-struck state we had been existing in for weeks, I was going to have to do something about it myself because clearly Spousal Unit was never going to get off of his exhausted ass and do it. So, both Saturday and Sunday, I stomped around the house in a bit of a PMS-fueled cleaning rage and was more than a little pissy about the fact that SU and the Gadlet, both of whom were sick with this cold, didn’t help. I don’t know what I expected the Gadlet to do to help, but she does love that Swiffer dusting wand…
Anyway, now I’m feeling guilty as well as terribly sick. Perhaps I should have been more compassionate with my poor sick family. What with the Gadlet’s Ear Infection and all…
Early last week the Gadlet started stuffing her fingers in her ears. A lot. I thought maybe it was just a phase – like a “woah, Mama, did you KNOW there were HOLES in here??!” kind of a thing. It did occur to me to wonder if she had an ear infection, but other than waking up a bit more at night she didn’t seem to be in any pain or to be acting any different. Except in hindsight, it seems that she was falling down a lot more than normal. I thought that was also a phase. Oops.
On Friday, I got a call from Darby. The Gadlet had fallen off of a chair, conked her head, and was acting strange. She was groggy and not eating. Poor Darby was totally distraught. I was amazingly calm, actually. I was pretty proud of myself. I called Spousal Unit and he and Darby took the Gadlet to the doctor. Her head was fine, but they discovered that she did have an ear infection. Par for the course, I think, for little kidlets. Once the crisis was passed, I did find the incident to be good fodder for my twisted sense of humor. I’ve been joking since then that the Gadlet fell off of a chair on Friday and caught an ear infection.
Well, serves me right for mocking my 14 month-old’s pain. Now I’ve caught her cold. Hopefully, though, I won’t fall off of any chairs.
I guess I just have to decide to give myself permission to be sick today. To do what I need to do for classes tomorrow and to sit here pushing fluids and soup, and hope to feel better tomorrow.