Poop

While rocking my adorably precious daughter to sleep today for her nap, (not a regular practice, but a necessity today since she was so crazed by a cold she has that she needed help to fall asleep) she looked up at me sweetly, pointed to my nose, and said “poop.”  

Yep, apparently my teeth are yellow and my nose looks like shit.  

Ah, parenting.  The ultimate deflation of one’s ego.  You walk around with some sort of bodily fluid on you at all times and you’re so damned tired you don’t have time to do laundry (plus you’ve ceased to care about 300 vomits ago), so there goes your clothing and your self-respect.  You never have time to get a haircut because who can figure out how to entertain a toddler in a room full of toxic chemicals and wickedly sharp objects?  You are way fatter than you used to be and everything, I mean everything, is drifting southward like it’s all trying to cash in on a free ticket to Aruba without you.  But in the midst of all of this craziness, you at least hold onto the notion that your kid thinks you’re beautiful and amazing.  

Until the day comes that they decide you need tooth whitening and a nose job. 

————————

In other news, I’ve suddenly realized that I’m overextended.  Hm.  I wonder what gave me that idea?   

And I haven’t spent more than 1 hour of consciousness with my husband in the last two weeks.  I’m starting to both forget what he looks like and wonder a little bit about why I want to keep him around at all.  I mean, at least when he was here he washed dishes and smelled nice and occasionally watched the kid.  In his defense, every night he’s been able to be home, I’ve been at work late.  So he’s definitely been putting in the Gadlet time.   But, man, our schedule sucks right now and the two weeks before it is all over seem interminable.   The Gadlet keeps saying, “Dada?  Work?”  She knows what’s what, clever girl. 

Other academics out there, here’s a question for you: 

Always at this point in the semester I start to get really misanthropic and start to really, really hate dealing with people. I think it’s the introvert part of me rearing its head and saying, “OK, enough with this public contact.  Get me back to the dusty back end of the archive and leave me there for weeks without talking to anybody!” 

Seriously, I kinda get angry when students come to me for help this time of year.  At the end of the winter semester, it is no problem.  But man, it just kills me now to have to be so available to everyone who needs anything.  It’s gotten to the point that anytime I hear my office building door open, I cringe because I’m afraid it is probably someone coming to see me.  I’m worried I might even get a bit snappish with some students who have legitimate questions just because I’m so very tired of dealing with people.

So my question is, does this happen to you too, or am I particularly unsuited to this line of work? 

Cheers –

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5 responses to “Poop

  1. I get this feeling every spring, too–basically after midterms, I’m ready for summer vacation to start so I can become a hermit again. Sometimes I even contemplate canceling all my classes after midterms. So you’re not alone!

  2. I’m there– but it is a chronic condition for me! They put my phone number on the end of all graduate school admission forms,to call for discrimination, harassment concerns. My phone rings and usually it is some upset person but about one in five calls is a wrong number, someone wanting to know if I have admitted them yet. I love wrong numbers!

  3. Ha! I thought having a kid would make me more kind and gentle and understanding with my students.

    No.

    Mostly, now, I’m like, “SERIOUSLY??? YOU LOST THE SYLLABUS??? I HAVE REAL PROBLEMS!!! I HAVEN’T SLEPT IN 3 YEARS!!!!”

    So, um, no. It’s not just you. My semester just ended (Canuck rules. . .) and I am going to punch the next student who wants to meet with me to talk about the final. GET LOST, BUGGERS!

    Not that I feel good about that. Still.

  4. It is SO not just you. Sending you energy!!!

  5. It’s definitely not you — it’s a chronic tension, I think. Many academics are introverts and teaching strains at that. Yeah, sure, there are good times and satisfying “aha” moments with students, but in the end all that personal contact just sucks the life out of a true introvert. I always, always, always dream of canceling classes.

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