Yep, it’s that time of year again. And since I have roughly 1000 pages to read before this whole thing is over, I thought I’d return to my favorite procrastinating activity: coming up with stuff I hate more than grading.
The Top 5 Things I Hate More than Grading – 2009
1. Vomiting Toddler
This was probably the worst thing I’ve ever witnessed in my whole entire life: my sick, listless, utterly silent 18-month old dry-heaving. I’d grade thousands of papers rather than go through that one again. Luckily for me, there are both thousands of papers and many, many more episodes of vomiting in my future.
2. Screaming Toddler
There’s something about it when she hits that high note that just chaps my ass. For those of you who don’t know, Kid Scream is genetically programmed to just weasel right in between all of your social defenses and stick like a jabbing little knife right into your gut. Nothing in the whole universe is that effective at getting your goat.
In said Toddler, or self. Either way, I’d rather grade.
4. Surprise cat poop in the garden that you reach right into with bare hands thinking you’re going for a weed to pull.
5. Mass-Market Machine Generated Telephone Call…
on my CELL PHONE informing me that my ten-year-old car’s warranty is about to expire unless I act immediately to remedy the situation by giving buckets of cash, my SSN# and my first-born to the people at the other end of this phone number, but if I act now and stay on the line I may be able to prevent disaster from befalling my vehicle.
Well, that’s the new list. How about you all? Anybody got anything else they hate more than grading?
And on a related note, do you find yourself getting progressively more and more pissed off as you grade? I swear by the 29th paper, I’m just LIVID that the hapless student has added yet another their/there mistake to my global life list. I know that that particular individual hasn’t made the other previous 348 mistakes, but I find myself wanting to rip the paper apart, tromp on it up and down in muddy boots, and then kick it out the back door for the feral neighborhood cats to poop on instead of my garden. And I know it isn’t fair to be so mad at the student just because I’m exhausted and tired of grading and their paper is the last one on the list. That’s when I know it is time to take a break and write a nice cathartic blog post about how much I hate grading.